The challenges of assisted reproduction

Family Therapist Kim Bergman, PhD, explains the challenges faced by women using a sperm donor or other assisted reproductive techniques and shares advice on how to overcome those challenges
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The challenges of assisted reproduction

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After I decided to become pregnant using a sperm donor, I faced an uphill journey. I was in the field, so I thought, of course, I'm going to get pregnant right away; actually, I didn't get pregnant right away at all. I had my fantasy of the perfect donor and I didn't get pregnant with him. I had to change donors, but by the end, I was throwing a dart at the biggest sperm donor. It was hard because it took 18 months, 14 tries, one miscarriage. The thing that I always tell my clients, because I went through it myself, once you have your baby, your forget all that crazy stuff that happened. When you are in it, it's really horrible, and you can't see your way out. If you keep going, you do become a parent. Your choices may have to change, you may have to give up some things that you really wanted, but as long as you keep your eye on the dream of being a mommy or a daddy; it will happen for you.

Family Therapist Kim Bergman, PhD, explains the challenges faced by women using a sperm donor or other assisted reproductive techniques and shares advice on how to overcome those challenges

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Kim Bergman, PhD

Family Therapist

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 22 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for the last two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, the American Fertility Association, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published "Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood" (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 28 years and their two teenage daughters. 

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